Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Smoking, Monkey

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

image for Charlie the smoking chimp proves that smoking is really, healthy?
Sad non-smoking chimps only live till they're 30 chimp years old, Charlie was a superstar!

South African smoking Chimp Charlie (RIP) has proven to the world that being a chain smoking primate has no bad effects on the lungs and survived till the ripe old of 52 chimp years (roughly 250 human years, wow!).

Charlie was quite an institution in the South African zoo and thousands of tourists flocked to see him puffing on a ciggy or two every day and every hour, chained?

What does this story mean for Lung Cancer research and smoking associated diseases, well?

Seeing as Charlie lived basically outside all of his life he wouldn't have affected any of his Chimp mates with passive smoking and passive smoking is a deadlier killer than direct smoking, scientists please note this is "monkey science!"

Also Chimps love nuts, fruit and avoid meat when they can, hence a healthy diet + smoking = Chimp longevity, humans please learn a ciggy a day keeps McDonalds away?

Conglomerate Imperial Tobacco have decided to honour Charlie for his life-long dedication to smoking and efforts to prove to the non-smoking world what a sad bunch of apes they really are by naming a new brand of their life-saving products called "Charlie the Chimp Shag" (he also did that until his final breath!).

HEALTH WARNING: READING THIS SPOOF CAN KILL YOU

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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