An official report has shown a definite link between the deaths of tens of thousands of people in Afghanistan and Iraq and war.
The Sherlock Higher Institute of Thought based in the French town of Sansmerde published their surprising conclusion on the same day that UK and US officials released a counter theory that war is actually linked to peace.
General Bob Bluster of the 14th media relations division explained the double-plus-good whammy of using unmanned drones to blast terrorists in the Pakistan/Afghanistan border regions.
"Importantly the drones are unmanned, so there's zero percent chance of any fatalities - the folks back home have gotta love this aspect - and secondly we get to blast the pesky terrorists who definitely otherwise will be committing terrorist outrages across European capital cities.
"If anyone needs conclusive proof that war causes peace one only has to look at the outcome of every single war in history - peace."
I put it to General Bluster that drone attacks put civilians lives at risk and stir tensions which actually increase the terrorist threat in Europe, but he shot me.
This is Frank James "Jimbo" Gunn filing copy from the military hospital at Bagram Air Base, Afghanistan.