Written by ronin47empire
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Topics: India

Saturday, 2 October 2010

image for Ayodhya Verdict Appeal: 1/3 of Land Should Go to a TV Channel
The Indian media rightly deserves a third of the disputed 3 acres of land at Ayodhya, opine staunch viewers

"For a second when I saw that the court had decided that the Ayodhya disputed site was going to be split into 1/3 I was sure that the last part would go to a TV channel," said one staunch supporter of TV News Channels.

News channels of India have as much right as anyone else to this land. More journalists have been to the disputed site than "Hindus" or "Muslims".

"I will definitely appeal to the Supreme Court. We should build a Grand News Studio in 2010 right next to Grand Temple in 1992 and a Grand Mosque in the 16th century."

Initially it was supposed that this viewer was taking liberties with grammar, but we were soon disabused of that notion.

"Of course we'll also have to discover time travel and ensure that the technology works for secular, communal, pseudo-secular, pseudo-communal, and (shudder) liberals.

"If we build it in the future, by that time no one will care about any of these structures. They'll just zip by in their flying cars. So, it's imperative we construct it in the correct century."

Film Critics are opposed to the idea and may launch an appeal of their own to stop news media from hogging the dispute.

"They may have gotten a lot of TRPS but that press conference with the first few batches of lawyers was disgracefully bad. No clear sound, no production values and they were all so sweaty and ugly. I do not want to see that kind of a production." said one film critic.

Experienced 8th-grader Thabish expressed some solidarity with the fundamentalist viewing public on condition of anonymity.

"Personally, most of the people I know keep religion in a tiny dark corner in their house. But this little mess is not likely to be resolved till it goes to the Supreme Court."

In 2020 the final verdict will be announced on 3-D TV in 2 seconds followed by a biscuit commercial and then we'd be right back to live telecast of Ludo in 2020 Itanagar Olympics.

The only way this will not happen is if:

a) The judiciary acts quickly

b) AIIMS increases life expectancy to 200

I don't foresee either of those things happening.

So why not give the News Channels a studio there. We can also co-incidentally build a school, hospital and mall there for the journalists to live and work. Because they will be the only permanent population.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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