Written by Jazz Jones
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Friday, 1 October 2010

image for 'Giant Killer Penguins' Unearthed in Peru
I think they're on to us Neville.

The fossil of a giant and deadly penguin that roamed the earth 36 million years ago has been discovered in Peru.

Scientists, writing in Science journal, say that the features of the bird show that it evolved from early penguins, with brown and gray plumage, rather than the more black "tuxedo" look of modern penguins. They claim that the beast measures 1.5 metres (5 feet) tall, and is twice as heavy as the Emperor Penguin, currently the most evil of all the penguins.

Paleontologist and lead author of the study Julia Clarke, said:

"Before this fossil, we had no evidence about the feathers, colours and flipper shapes of ancient penguins...We had questions and this was our first chance to start answering them."

The discovery also sheds new light on the origin of depravity in penguins. Although often mistaken as innocent arctic creatures, this fossil proves that penguins have a history of dastardly and menacing behavior, and have undoubtedly traversed the earth in the past, intimidating other species with their threatening and hostile demeanor.

Wretched penguins. They're almost as evil as those squirrels.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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