Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 30 September 2010

image for Queen's ashes to be scattered at sea over Deepwater Horizon site
You're barred from the funeral George because you're an effing bastard!

Gulf of Mexico - (RIP Mess): A sneak preview of HM's Last Will & Testament has revealed her final resting place of choice lies at 28.736628°N 88.365997°W.

The Gulf of Mexico location is near the Mississippi River Delta site of BP's Deepwater Horizon 2010 catastrophe.

Her Maj's remains are to be cremated at a special facility near the Sizewell B nuclear plant.

They will then be taken on board the Royal Navy's latest minesweeper HMS Knuckleduster inside a Greek urn from Prince Philip's looted Elgin Marbles collection.

A royal funerary party, charged with the dumping of the royal cinders into the sea, 'may also dispose of HM's corgis' as it sees fit.

A spokesperson for the RSPCA said today the canines would not be cremated along with their mistress because of the risk of exploding SatNav-enabled ID microchips implanted under their coats:

"Far better to put them down humanely - along with HM! - than have the whole sorry show drag on yet another decade."

Princess Anne is a trans-gender sensation.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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