In light of the crazy crazy people who feel the urge to go about throwing their pets into rubbish bins, Mr. Orlov Petrovski had the urge to attempt to throw his pet tiger, Mr. Nibbles, into a county recycling bin.
Mr. Nibbles was escorted down the street by a man wearing a balaclava and a football top bearing his name on the back. Following this, Mr. Nibbles was clearly traumatised as his owner attempted to stuff the tiger into a rubbish bin.
And that's when things got nasty.
For Mr. Nibbles, he ended up being relocated to a nice cushy zoo where he gets fed quite a lot of raw steaks.
For his owner, the rather imbecile-esque man ended up losing three fingers; half of his right ear; been scarred for life down his back and is now temporarily deafened. All that, and he's lost the right to house animals.
Mr. Petrovski's agent: James Hook, read out this statement in illegible handwriting earlier today.
"My client saw everybody throwing pets into bins on YouTube and figured looking after an illegal tiger was too much."
Unsurprisingly, this revelation proved to be one more. His punishment? Having to listen to 24 hours of Gavin Henson's Self Help Book.