News just in! President Ahmedinejad was recently let out of the small little metaphoric box of Iran to speak to the United Nations. In an address to all nations, Ahmedinejad offered many criticisms.
He claims that 9/11 was staged for the Royal Variety Show to save Israel; The League of Nations failed. He prefers the Premier League instead; Man has "been restricted by materialistic world". (Said whilst covering the Armani logo on his jacket); and complained that the price of Dunkin Donuts had risen by up to 33%. His idea of inflation was involving helium.
The stinging criticisms clearly offended American officials, who walked out in protest. In a conference more embarrassing than when Justin Beiber tried to make out he was an adult, the President of Iran managed to offend everybody present.
Tonight, after a difficult night, Ahmedinejad will return to the Sheraton Suites with a box of Donuts in one arm and a football in the other. In light of his criticisms, he has probably just gone and distanced himself further away from any other country right now. The only thing left for Iran to gain right now unfortunately is Air Mile Points with Virgin.