Written by alexc

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Topics: Bible

Thursday, 23 September 2010

image for Artistic differences almost prevented release of New Testament
Oh, Jaysus!

New documentary evidence suggests that artistic differences and fierce legal wrangles almost prevented the release of The New Testament.

The documents, long hidden by The Norwich Illuminati, reveal that the book, recently voted the third best sequel ever after The Godfather and Star Wars, was the source of a number of disputes by the creative forces behind what is now considered one of the greatest works of fiction ever printed.
A transcript of court proceedings recently uncovered in Israel showed a fierce argument between Apostles Matthew and Mark, with both accusing each other of plagiarism and disputing the book's running order.

The apostles also appear to have had bitter arguments on the direction the novel would have, with the ambitious John keen to keep the novel's main character Jesus alive to allow the possibility of potentially lucrative follow ups.

A collection of unsuccessful replies from publishers were also uncovered, criticising the book for being "too preachy" and bemoaning the apocalyptic ending as depressing and unmarketable.
Later transcripts show arguments regarding royalties became fierce and acrimonious, particularly as neither of the writer's managed to replicate this success with any of their later work.

The documents, which had long been kept secret by The Illuminati in keeping with their mission statement of "fucking with people's heads" and "supplying ideas that Dan Brown can run with", were found by an aggressive secularist at a jumble sale to raise money for the secret society.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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