Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Tuesday, 5 October 2010

image for Conan O'Brien to contest Irish Presidential election.
President Conan O'Brien.

Irish American chat show host Conan O'Brien has announced his intention to run as a candidatate in the upcoming Irish Presidential election.

O'Brien made the announcement on his popular Twitter page early this morning and according to close friends and colleagues, he is serious about the contest.

The office of President is open to Irish citizens over the age of 35 and O'Brien, a reported Irish passport holder, is entitled to enter providing he can muster the support of at least twenty members of the Oireachtas (national parliament), or at least four county or city councils.

Conan O'Brien repeatedly affirms his Irish Catholic heritage on his show, he stated that both sides of his family moved to America from Ireland in the 1850s, subsequently marrying only other Irish Catholics, and that his lineage is thus 100% Irish Catholic.

Conan Christopher O'Brien (born April 18, 1963) is an American television host, comedian, and producer. He was born in Brookline, Massachusetts, a suburb of Boston and raised in an Irish Catholic family.

He is the third of six children. O'Brien's family is descended from pre-Civil War era immigrants; In a Late Night episode, O'Brien paid a visit to County Kerry, Ireland, where his ancestors originated and bought the freehold on the famous 'Ring of Kerry' which allows him to sleep with all unmarried women over the age of 75 without having to buy them a sheep.

Residents of the 'Ring of Kerry', under ancient Gaelic laws are obliged to address him as 'Revered Ruler of the Ring', pay him two sods of turf annually as rent and to service his chariot thrice yearly, weather permitting.

Mr O'Brien is heavily involved in numerous charitable and sporting organisations throughout Ireland, 'Ginger kids of Killarney', the 'Roscommon redhead rehabilitation scheme' and the 'Navan ginger Ninja's' Karate club to name but a few.

If elected to office O'Brien would be Ireland's second American born President, the first being former Taoiseach and Easter 1916 rising revolutionary Eamonn De Valera who was born in New York in 1882 to an Irish mother,and a Spanish father.

The office of President in Ireland is largely a ceremonial appointment but it does come with an obscene salary of 325,000 Euro, a 92 room mansion in the heart of Dublins 1752 acre Phoenix park, a chauffer driven limousine, 1st class travel world wide and a lifetime supply of custard cream bikkies.

O'Brien has been on the lookout for a holiday home in Ireland for some time but does not believe that there is any real value in the high end luxury property market at the moment and see's the job of President as an ideal opportunity to avail of a substantial residence close to the heart of Dublin and the airport, rent free for several years.

O'Brien commented on his twitter feed,

"It's a bit small, but it'll do till we find something bigger"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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