Written by Noddy Bigears
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Monday, 16 May 2005

image for Condoleezza Rice apologizes to Newsweek as she sets political fashion standards in Iraq
Ms Rice Explains Political Fashions To Iraq

Condoleezza Rice has set the tone for other World leaders during her surprise visit to Iraq this week following her apology to Newsweek. Sporting a significant beard and trendy little hat she addressed Kurdish leaders raising concerns about their etiquette, fashion standards and clothes sense.


Condoleezza Rice was believed to be the anonymous source for a series of fashion articles that had been published in ‘Newsweek' one of which gave false guide lines on some aspects of US fashion etiquette and behaviour whilst visiting or entertaining overseas nationals. Most embarrassing was an article that had had a translation error from Afghanistan, encouraging some Americans to offer pages from books or newspapers to guests as an alternative to standard sanitary paper.


Newsweek published the corrected text today which read "overseas guests may have a range of preferences for their sanitary needs, which are not likely to include books or newspapers." It appears that the mistaken text has encouraged affluent Americans to offer their overseas business guests Newsweek as the best bottom wiping paper of the year.


Toyota Japanese business man, Yoko Kawasaki explained to his American GM colleagues at the golf course "In Japan we have very special closet designs so that means you do not even have to use your hands, the super hygienic appliances wash and blow dry without any junk paper being involved at all." The excited GM executives were heard to say "if only we could follow suit and wash our hands and flush away all of that junk paper."


Back in Iraq, Condoleezza Rice has demonstrated her own sanitary toilet paper to the crowd which clearly has words from the Bible printed on every sheet. It appears the Christian Bush administration has taken the initiative to spread the word with this new cost effective leap of faith. The White House religious sub-committee has undertaken consultations with a range of other US religious leaders but so far it appears the other faiths have declined the initiative as simply a ‘Bush Administration' publicity stunt.


The US religious paper is to be advertised throughout the states by Paris Hilton on prime time television in order to target the desired demographic group ‘young hungry aggressive males'. The spicy little burger has already declared prior to the advertisements release "it's the next best thing since sliced bread."


However, at the end of the meeting in Iraq, Condoleezza explained one more point to the Kurdish leaders "I am not in a position to give you a practical demonstration of political fashion standards just yet but maybe later tomorrow morning something could be arranged?" But the embarrassed Kurdish leaders explained "Please Ms Rice, we would like to wait until the Sunni's can participate as well."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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