Iranian President, Mahmoud Alumpyjizzbag, says that journalists who get his name wrong are poop and talk poop and have poop coming out of their mouths "why would they say that? It hurts" Said the clearly upset Bond villain.
"I am trying my best to be liked by you damn westerners. The reason I was picked for the job was for PR purposes, I wear a nice normal jacket, my beard isn't too big, I look like a regular guy about Tehran. I could pass for Manuel from Fawlty Towers in a dim light and he was from Barcelona!"
Speaking among Iranians living in the US, President Agrumpyjug said on Sunday that there were "two styles of swarthy looking foreigner in the world", one that is based on the US idea of a towel headed beardy bomber, according to Mr Acrumpledbuttplug, and the other one who looks like Imran Khan or George Cloony after spending a month sunning himself on lake Como.
"That is what I modelled my look on, just to make Iran a bit more accessible to the western media" stated the diminutive despot, "I mean, think about it, when was the last time we wheeled out the Ayatollah Khamene'i? His beard is massive. He may be a great spiritual leader but lets face it, he looks like The Ayatollah Khomeini" The Iranian president paused for a moment to laugh at his own joke "don't worry" he continued "its an Iranian thing"