Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: miners, chile

Sunday, 19 September 2010

image for Chilean Miner Escapes From Mine!
Carlos after his escape

There were wild celebrations and screams of total joy this morning at the mine where 33 Chilean miners have been trapped for more than 6 weeks, when one of those buried alive scrambled out of a tiny crack at the pithead.

Carlos Aquilar, 19, was able to squeeze himself out through the crack after losing more than seven-eighths of his body mass due to the extremely poor diet he has been on recently.

Snake-like, Carlos slithered his way up to the main shaft of the mine, and inched towards a slim shaft of light for more than 6 days and nights, he told rescuers. Eventually, he reached a spot where he could hear voices, and found the crack - only two inches wide - and slid out into the open air.

Emergency rescuers were shocked to see him. Indeed, they didn't see him at first - they thought he was a snake.

When he told them who he was, though, and how he'd escaped, they threw him a mouse, and stood well back.

Now, the emergency rescue team say they are considering 'starving the others out', by refusing to send in any more food, which will ultimately result in dramatic weight loss, and make it possible for the other 32 the miners to slither out in the same way as Carlos did.

I'm fed up. I'm off to write summat else now.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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