Written by Charpa93
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Saturday, 18 September 2010

image for Head of Castro Castro Prison Seen Driving New Honda Accord

LIMA, Peru - Eduardo Conquista, the head of Castro Castro Prison in Lima, Peru, was spotted today driving to work in a brand new Honda Accord just hours after reports that Natalee Holoway's mother, Beth Twitty snuck into the prison to confront Joran van der Sloot face-to-face.

Attempts to speak to Conquista to ascertain whether his arriving at work in a new car had anything to do with the clandestine meeting between mother and murderer were unsuccessful. Conquista is known throughout the prison community, however, as having expensive tastes that are most often not satisfied by his paltry prison wages. Corruption is a big problem at the prison but no one from Conquista on down to the prison guards was willing to speak about it.

Reporters were able, however, to locate a local man who worked at the prison for a brief time several years ago. Although he did not know the specifics of this particular case, he did say that he had it on good authority that Conquista takes bribes all the time to allow contraband into the prison. This, however, allowing a person to actually slip past the guards to confront one of the prisoners, especially one with such a high profile, is a first.

"Eduardo must be getting bolder," said Juan Dominico, "to allow such a meeting to happen. But in this country, I do not know one person who would not sell their soul for a new Honda Accord." Asked if anyone at all, with the right bribe, could possibly even enter the prison and have enough privacy to, say, take the life of van der Sloot, Dominico answered "Si, si senor. I believe I heard Eduardo talking just the other day down at the cantina that he really wanted a Rolex and the men at the next table who appeared to be some high rollers in town seemed quite interested in our conversation."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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