ROME: On the eve of the Popatus' visit to Britain, senior papal advisers seem to be suffering from an acute case of "foot-in-the-mouth" disease. It's bad enough that Brit taxpayers are on the hook for 12 million pounds, so surely a little bit of sensitivity and respect for one's hosts is not too much to ask for.
Too much to expect from the Vatican gentry who still believe they live in 15th century Rome complete with their Jacopo Peri inspired, opera buffoon Swiss Guards.
So used to bleeding the masses it comes as no surprise that a senior papal adviser chose to spit on host country UK:
"Arriving-a in-a Bretagne is-a like-a stepping-a foot-a in a Third-a World-a country", said the idiot adviser adding that Modern-day England's secularized and pluralist society has dragged it into the category of Third World countries.
Taken to task for this rubbish, the cowardly adviser quickly decided to pull out of the papal trip due to "health reasons". According to his office the Cardinal has "BIG-a headache".
Next-in line to the papal throne, Cardinal Burl O'Scooney further muddied the waters with this clarification:
"Ah, no-n-no... tiddly-dee potaters....the Cardinal was only praising Britain. He meant to say it was such an inclusive society with its..., you know... with all its colored people and pagans and heathen worshipers and savages from all over the world."
Britain's Atheists and latte-slurping anti-Vaticanites immediately took to the streets demanding that Downing Street cancel this "completely unnecessary proselytizing trip by the Nazi Ratfinker."
Meanwhile representatives of OTWC the Organization of Third World Countries gathered at a nuclear proliferators bazaar in Northern Pookistawn reacted with extreme anger. Expressing their combined outrage the group issued a "jaint (sic) statement":
"We are the top Third World countries and there is no room to include other countries in our group. It is an insult to our exclusive membership".
Across Pakistan, Iran, Afghanistan, Kashmir, Yemen, Somalia and other non-worthy unmentionables, angry stone-pelting [professional] jihadis took time out from bomb-making to storm the streets - tearing out pages from the Freemasons Bible and burning effigies of Mel Brooks; all the while chanting "Death to Amrika".
Cardinal Burl O'Scooney's office refused further comment other than to say he was "praying for these poor, misguided un-Christian souls".