Written by shea lo
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Topics: Iran, Spy

Monday, 13 September 2010

image for Iran hopes to get international respect by releasing captured US hiker provided she pays $500,000 bill for "15 months hotel room, food & guest services"

In a manner typical of Iran's turnstile democracy an official of the Ministry of Silly Iranian Declarations first said a captured US hiker would be released on Saturday. Then in equally typical fashion another official for Mad Mullahs against Amrikis denied the previous statement replacing it with another official statement:

"OK - maybe two-thiree months she might be release, only the walrus knows"

Now Iran's Minister of Financial Bean-counting and Assorted Spare Change has issued this "official" statement:

"After Iran judiciary meet & all liberal dissenters executed maybe last mullah standing will agree to free. But first she must pay $500,000".

He denied this was blackmail or an attempt to build up Iran's coffers

"No, no...Imadinajad is look for international respectability....show Iran is compassionate. Against our religion to blackmail - we are self-righteous people. But we are only ask for $500,000 because that is list of her expenses when she was our 'guest' here"

The bill presented to the US lists the following "Guest Services":

15 months occupation of 5-star 'hotel' room
15 months food
2 full chaddor
overtime for Secret Service tormentors
cost of 1 whip and bag of stones
OK - Pliz to Note: VAT/GST charges for whipping & stone-pelting extra

**** Ca$h only please no Visa ****

"The Amriki spy can be release as soon as her $500,000 hotel bill is paid", confirmed Iran's Minister for Final Statements and Official Turnarounds Grandest of Grand Mullahs Ali-Ali Oxenfree

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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