Written by Don Pitts
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Topics: danger

Monday, 9 May 2005

What better place for a couple of guys who managed to never put their lives in danger than to joke around at a memorial for millions who did? "Its pretty ironic, isn't it?" laughed Russian fun boy Vlad. "Yeah, me and my buddy George made Commander in Chief the hard way, without ever serving in combat. I mean, is George smarter than his old man, or what! And when his election opposition is a war hero, he still wins! Ya just gotta respect that" he grinned.

Bush showed equal respect for Putin and 27 million dead Russians, who obviously weren't so lucky. "Vlad's my kinda guy" Bush beamed. "Never spent a night sleeping on the ground, commanding an Army that spends damn near every night sleeping on the ground." The two Comrads in Cowardice moved closer, making some body contact that made vets on both sides of the Atlantic cringe.

Not that there aren't differences. Bush has recently accused Putin of being soft on democracy and not supporting American global domination. Putin has responded by accusing Bush of being soft on democracy and attempting global domination. Putin also criticized the United States for its rather barbaric bombing of Dresden, to which Bush responded: "You can bet your sweet ass I didn't do it! I mean, the Germans were shooting back!"

Bush countered by saluting the 27 million Soviets who died during World War II, meanwhile giving his bud Vlad a low 5 for not being one of them. The two countries have been equally critical of each other in recent years, each rightfully accusing the other of attacking third world nations without provocation.

In a reconciliatory moment, Bush did apologize for helping the Afghan rebels during the Russian occupation. "Stuff happens" Bush grinned. "We did blow that one. However, we do blame Russia and their French buddies for the US having to invade Iraq. If you'd just handed over the oil contracts you had with Saddam, we'd have never invaded" he chuckled.

While the representatives of the former and current world bullies agreed that violence is still the world's foremost form of communication, they were unable to agree on when it might not be necessary. Putin likes to keep his bullying close to home for budgetary reasons, while Bush asked "What's a budget?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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