Rome - (Holy Spirit News): Some Zaprudderesque footage, circa 1968, of Ratzinger, Bush and a crateload of communion wine has surfaced in London.
Up-and-coming drunk George W and his highball pall are seen demolishing the Mavrodaphne consigment in a Hellfire temple on the banks of the Thames.
A blood-red eclipsed full moon hovers above grassy knoll companion and fledgeling God's Banker Roberto Calvi, who acts as bartender.
In the distance a USSR Malyutka-class mini submarine is seen bobbing up and down in the Thames' murky waters, acrid herbal smoke billowing from its hammer 'n' sickie-emblazoned conning tower.
On closer inspection the Jolly Roger flag of convenience turns out to be a pair of Margaret Thatcher's serpent king-themed Agent Provocateur knickers,
The revellers are toasting an Aleister Crowley-like deity whose snarling effigy is backlit against the temple walls like a Walpurgisnacht gargoyle in St Peter's.
Flanked by defrocked minions of the P2 Lodge satanic cult the frenzied skyclad frolicking on the banks of the Thames zooms in on the inebriated gang's toasting of a newborn baby.
Meanwhile a fat-arsed bejewelled female figure - thought to be the Queen Mother - attempts to breastfeed the wailing infant ahead of an anointing ceremony conducted by Tory Party midgets.
Some claim the Super8 shots of the baby are really David Cameron, Prime Monster of the United Kingdom - "or Susan Boyle".
Campaigners in the Stop-the-Pope Coalition said today they will be releasing the new-found footage ahead of the September 16 Pa(y)pal lap of honor around the United Kingdom.
"Truss me," a source at the Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency commented this afternoon, "it'll never happen."