Written by Guy Bellefonte
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Topics: Cats, Japan, Whale

Sunday, 12 September 2010

image for Japanese Whalers Use Kittens As Chum
Me OW!

As activist's approached a Japanese whaling vessel, the crew was stunned at what they saw:

Poor innocent kittens attached to commercial grade hooks to entice whales.

"These whalers have really stepped over the line!" said an angry protester named Kip or Chip (I think). "What kind of monster catches a whale with a kitten and then kills them both for food? I've got to write a song about this injustice."

Japanese whalers have a long tradition of harvesting whales for multiple purposes. It wasn't until recently that they began using a century old method of attracting the delicious sperm whales to the surface with kitten bait.

Captain of the SS Scumbag-Akiro said, "People already think we are monsters. Why not go back to the best bait available? Our image can't get any worse.

Irate activists has been rumored to be holding Hello Kitty dolls hostage until all whaling/kitten activity ceases.

Should this fail, the activists plan on luring the Japanese whalers with a karaoke contest on their fake vessel: "The Totally Awesome Karaoke Experience, OK" Once the trap is set, activists estimated that 75%-80% of the crew should be captured.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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