The world's media reacted in outrage today as Reverend Terry Jones said he would not burn a Koran.
In a statement made under police protection, he told shocked reporters he also had no intention of killing children or raping blacks.
Immediately, Twitters of rage over his statement were seen all over the internet.
Charlie Brooker tweeted "someone should behead this ****!" While top BBC journalist Suzanna Reid said "Not burning Korans is illegal already, surely? I thought so."
The Pastor's namesake Terry Jones, of Monty Python fame, blogged "What a pity someone with my name is so ignorant. I feel I should apologise to the Islamic world at length over this, as I did with all my TV documentaries. Perhaps the BBC could commission me another series over this shocking outrage, so I can present this potential book burning as the root cause of Middle East unrest."
Reverend Jones, whose total congregation numbers 15 inbreds and a donkey, has been the world's number one media sensation since he allegedly said he would burn a Koran. He later clarified " I actually offered to burn Goran Ivanisevic, the croatian tennis player, but someone misheard me. When I saw the free publicity I was getting, I decided to run with it."
But why did he want to burn Goran?
" I had money on Pat Rafter to win the 2001 Wimbledon final."