Written by Thibarine
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Thursday, 9 September 2010

image for New Canadian 3D Speed Bump Outside Junior School Increases the Accident Rate but is a Massive hit with Kiddie-Fiddlers.
This little girl, who doesn't want her face shown, says: "Strange men keep poking me to see if I'm a speed bump"

School Gates Clogged as Optical Illusion Draws Spectators from Miles Around.

An elementary school in West Vancouver has caused a sensation after painting the illusion of a little girl chasing a ball in the middle of the street outside. The painting is actually flat on the road but from 100 metres appears to pop up in front of the driver.

The local council claims the speed bump is a success because it causes drivers to think and slow down. Figures from the traffic department, however, reveal a different story.

"The speed bump is nothing but a gimmick and a complete nightmare" said a spokesman for West Vancouver Traffic Control. "It's increased the accident rate and brought rubberneckers from miles around, hanging round the school gates at all hours. One car caused a pile-up as the driver stopped to take photographs. Illegal gamblers are taking spot bets on when a driver swerves round the illusion and ploughs into an actual kid. Just the other day a drunk driver escaped a prison sentence for knocking down a pedestrian who he claimed looked like a speed bump."

The road is regularly jammed by dubious-looking men with bad skin, circling the block slowly then speeding up to get the 100-metre effect. A graffiti artist is in custody after attempting to turn the little girl's outfit into stockings and a basque.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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