Written by Noddy Bigears
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Topics: Police, New York

Thursday, 5 May 2005

image for Berlusconi Bomb Blasts British consulate in New York, Blair Blames Bush Love Tiff
Berlusconi Plays By Himself In His Cascade Mozzerella Bubble Bath

Silvio Berlusconi has been arrested running away from the British Consulate in New York following bomb blasts at 3.35 am local time. New York police reported that the blasts shattered windows in the building and a big chunk of concrete fell out of the front of the building but nobody was hurt although a man was apprehended running away from the scene, that man turned out to be Silvio Berlusconi, the ex-Italian Premier.


The New York City sexual dynamics are known to be fairly tolerant but when it comes to ‘two is company, three is a crowd' it seems that Internationally Politically motivated dynamics are no exception. The ex-Italian Premier has lost his Government, one of his political lovers and his hope of ever becoming Bush's first man again. There is no doubt now why and where the Italian word vendetta comes from -Italy.


The remains of the explosive devices recovered appear to suggest that they were home made bombs consisting of extra-strong condoms filled with a mixture of black powder and Mozzarella cheese. NYPD remain confused about the addition of the Mozzarella cheese to the explosive mix but suspect that it may have some symbolic purpose or inner meaning for those involved in the political love tiff. The NYPD spokesman would only release a simple statement "Silvio Berlusconi has been released on bail pending a potential trial later this year in New York assuming that he is not arrested for corruption in Italy first."


Labour leader, Tony Blair quoted on hearing the news "A lost political love can cause great pain but Silvio should try to be just a friend now" adding, "He needs to sort out his own problems at home, get some counseling and try to pull his social domestic policy and Government back together before trying to barge into a solid political relationship." Blair is widely expected to win his third term in Government in Britain and hence remain a strategic friend and keep his very very close relationship to George Bush. George confirmed "Silvio has all sorts of personnel problems at home and is really struggling to make any friends at all, now he is starting to be a real burden making so many false accusations against US. Worst still, now he has done something really stupid by blaming the Bush administration and chucking hand made condom bombs at the British Consulate."


However, Silvio Berlusconi's political lawyer was less diplomatic, "George Bush and Tony Blair have abused and used Silvio as they have promised him a political threesome after he has had Tony at his Sardinian Villa every summer holiday for years and let George use his private guards in Iraq. It is about time they let him play with the Mozzarella cheese as well."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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