It seems that Wenlock and Mandeville, the new 2012 Olympic mascots, are causing immense problems for the Olympic committee.
Amid accusations that their design was influenced by free-masons, zionists and gay rights campaigners, an internal dispute seems to have escalated matters dramatically...
Mandeville has murdered Wenlock! According to recently surfaced YouTube footage, the horned one finally grew tired of his colleague's drug abuse and took matters into his own brutal blue hands.
The 2012 Olympic committee have refused to officially comment on the footage, but a Mr Seb Coe said:
"WTF, this is totally untrue, people like you make me sick though you are a very handsome young man. How about we go back to my place and address your naughtiness in private my boy. I live nearby and I've got short shorts you know."
More details on this story will doubtless emerge over the coming hours but this rather sore reporter is determined to bring you the truth!