Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Topics: Lily Allen, Culture

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

image for Lily Allen To Head Western Culture Think Tank
Modern western culture - what's it like, eh?

One of the great creative forces of the early 21st century is to head up a multi-national, multi-discipline investigation into the state of modern western culture.

The think-tank will consider the causes for the decadence displayed in the west and seek means to re-establish the high standards of culture it once enjoyed.

English singer Lily Allen has been invited to lead the inquiry, following her insightful comments on the status of western culture on her "Twitter" site.

Ms Allen, known for her high-pitched whining and glottal stops in songs complaining about (among others) the poor performance of a lover and sleeping in the "wet patch", has had two hit albums before declaring her desire to quit the music business.

She recently posted on her Twitter page: "X Factor is s**t. Fact!

"It is everything I detest about modern western culture. People like you eat it up."

A think-tank spokesman said: "Ms Allen is clearly just the person to give western culture the shot in the arm it so desperately needs to rescue it from its decline. We urgently need to consider her opinions on how embracing the "other" and "outsider art" can help foster growth, for example.

"We have gathered a huge congress of interested parties to take part in a series of seminars and councils, which Ms Allen will chair.

"Delegates include a globe-spanning array of university chancellors, artists, musicians, philosophers, scientists, retired politicians and many others from all walks of life. Ms Allen's notions should certainly keep them thinking!

"We look forward to the results."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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