MANILA-VANILLA: LIVE at The Ms. Zombie Pageant. 56 global zombie contestants sashayed down the ramp last night to a rendition of 'Thriller' crooned by this city's top celebrity zombies. Competition had been fierce notwithstanding the herculean make-up efforts required to keep the desiccating beauties from completely rotting in the fetid tropical heat.
In a thriller of a moment Ms. Zombie Thailand managed to pull an incredible come-from-behind victory to snatch the crown from a desperately greedy Ms. Zombie Filipins. No sooner had the results been announced when local zombie boys stormed the stage attacking the Thai winner known only as "Ms. Porntip"
Alleging that the competition had been "pixed" and that it was simply a "plimsy" excuse as the winner had been pre-decided, local Manilla-Vanilla zombie-boys went dance-berserk causing massive destruction to property.
Local newspaper headlines screamed "She won by a whisker" alleging their Ms. Zombie "who was a real woman" had been cheated by a 'transgendered' zombie.
President Maria Maragang-Tripalong-Singalong asked the UN to intervene and said she was sending troops to the border.
Thai President-for-the-day Prabijit-Asawit-Whatheshit said:
"Our contestant won fair and square and our Army is ready to quell any insurgency"
Ms. Porn-tip is doing a nude centerfold for this month's "Zombie-dudes and Necrophiliacs" magazine. She said:
"I am baring myself - heart & sole (sic) so my fans can see everything. There will be nothing left to the imagination"