Men who have gotten their wish after ordering products and appliances to build huge penises are now having trouble with them the other 22 hours a day, which they hadn't considered before.
"I know it's too late now but I wish I had my old penis back", stated Fred Haycraft. "Oh, it was exciting for awhile but with it now 14 inches long, it gets all twisted and wrapped around my legs when I walk."
"Chaffing is horrible", stated Bill Hanson. "I powder my 16-inch monster regularly but it stays chaffed as I work outdoors. Also, it gets tangled up in my scrotum when I step and man does that hurt. I've laid on the ground for 30 minutes of valuable work time."
"My problem is sudden erections! I've gone to button trousers because I've been to the hospital emergency rooms 14 times", stated Horace Richards. "I'm glad I stopped at 13 inches or I'd flip the restaurant table over if a twisty-tailed waitress walked by. Right now I'm putting ice cubes from my iced tea down there to bring it down."
All three men now have a lawsuit against a place in Nigeria but have pretty well given up, since their attorneys could find none of those that sold them their products.
"There used to be four of us in the lawsuit", stated Haycraft, "but George tripped over his penis in the dark one night and broke his neck falling down a flight of stairs. He should have kept it tied around his waste like the doctor told him."