30.000 Pilgrims were evacuated at Lourdes, France today after the Israeli secret service threatened to blow up the Madonna.
Lourdes has been a thorn in the Israeli side for many years because fundamental Jews reject all forms of miracles invented by the Catholics and Lourdes alongside Mekka are prime targets to wipe off the face of the earth.
An Israeli secret service spokesman gave the following press statement:
"Tears running down Madonna's face are lies, stupid and myths, all Jews reject such pathetic, pagan beliefs and are determined to teach the world that the Judaism is the one and only true voice of the real God, and as for those other bunch of moronic Heathens over in Mekka, ACHTUNG, we are a targeting you also!"
"And as for the water that idiotic Pilgrims drink, it's called Evian!"
The French Police cleared the area and whilst searching the Madonna for the bomb noticed some moisture running down her cheeks, they got on their knees, looked up towards the heaavens and spotted an Algerian, Muslim immigrant above the cave having a quick QUI, QUI!