PARIS (ABSNN) - A new French law has ended the reign of big, big city cops, and now all gendarmes must be no taller than 1.60 meters, whatever a friggin meter is. Like all armed Frenchmen who go in harm's way, the midget cops will undoubtedly drop their weapons without firing a shot, and run screaming like little school girls, as they have in every war throughout the 20th and 21st centuries.
A French Labor Ministry official, Pepe LePew, told ABSNN, "It was getting very embarrassing to have our normally tall, and even really tall gendarmes run from criminals, so we changed the law to make all gendarmes little pissants who have a good reason to run!"
Nicholas Sarkozy's height, according to his drivers license, is 1.65 meters (what is that, about 5' 2" tall in spiked heels?). Napoleon was roughly the same height, but had an enormous tube steak. The size of Sarkozy's trouser trout is a well guarded state secret.
President Barack Obama apologized to all "little people" yesterday, citing the numerous massacres of midgets and dwarfs the US has been responsible for since the early 12th century.
The now unemployed gendarmes have one option with which they may keep their jobs: They may have 1.05 meters of their legs cut off, and have handy dandy coasters attached to the stumps. As yet, no one has volunteered for the surgery fearing they would be too slow to escape from French bad guys!