Written by Brits In America
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Topics: Pope, Catholic

Wednesday, 20 April 2005

image for Pope Stole My Name - Class Action Law Suit Set To Follow
Pope Benedict XVI

Benny Hinn today claimed that Pope Benedict XVI had stolen his name in an effort to confuse worshippers of the Benny Hinn Ministries into following the Supreme Pontiff of the Catholic Church and thus improving their falling attendance figures. The claims were angrily denied by the Vatican.

Mr. Hinn spoke to this reporter under the condition of anonymity

"Many people who follow religion are old and senile and this is clearly and simply a trick aimed at the weakest of society. I am very angry that a man who calls himself a leader of a church would sink to this level."

It would seem that the new Vicar of Christ's chief aim of unification has not got off to a great start. The Vatican angrily denounced Benny Hinn as the devil incarnate and confirmed that the new pope had taken his name after his favorite breakfast meal Eggs Benedict.

An official communication from the Vatican stated:

"Cardinal Ratzinger has always had a penchant for Eggs Benedict, and it made sense to him, a humble man working the vineyard of Christ, that he select his name after his favorite breakfast."

The Vatican went on to say that the fact that fifteen previous popes had selected their names after the famous breakfast treat was proof positive if it were needed that there had been no name stealing.

The matter is now sure to end up in the American court system. Mr. Hinn consulted with his attorneys through the night on a possible breach of copyright and even the possibility of bringing a case of corporate espionage against the Vatican.

"My bank account is already feeling the effect of this clear and apparent theft" I will not rest until the Lord's work is done and my bank balance restored."

Other famous Benny's were thought to be watching the case closely.

Ben Afleck would not comment on suggestions that he along with Ben from Ben and Jerry's were planning to seek a class law action against the new pope. However a spokesperson for the late Benny Hill confirmed that the comedians estate were investigating the possibility of a law suit.

Benjamin Franklin did not immediately return calls to this reporter.

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