Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: China, God

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

image for China Landslide Is God's Retribution For Human Rights Violations
He looks well-pissed-off!

The landslide in China which has so far claimed 337 lives, is retribution from God for the scant regard the Chinese government has paid towards its citizens, according to that claims of a madman on a bus.

The man, speaking to a passenger on the 524 with whom he was travelling, said that China's Human Rights record was appalling, and that God had probably had just about as much of it as he could stand. He had now decided to act, and had created a landslide to let the Chinese authorities know he meant business.

All of this came past my ears as I made my way home from work today, in an extremely tired state. It might even be said that I was exhausted after teaching four classes of 10-year-olds who, I have to remark, were not the most willing learners.

I was sitting across the aisle from the two gentlemen concerned, and could clearly hear what they were saying. One thing though, is that they were speaking in Thai, and my Thai is not the best. Also, as I said, I was very tired, and it's just possible that I may have mis-heard some of the conversation. The engine was very loud.

When I awoke, several stops after my own intended destination, I stumbled towards the door of the bus, and waited at the steps for the bus to stop, still thinking hazily of the man's remarks about the Chinese landslide. Then I realised I had been asleep, and must have dreamt it all!

I considered that, as retribution for all of the horrible, nasty libellous spoofs I, myslef, have written about sports stars, movie stars, celebrities, politicians and other noteworthy people, God might, indeed, like to pay me back.

Just then, as I looked out of the bus window, a huge wave of mud smashed into the side of the bus, and buried us. Good job I had me laptop with me, and was able to send you this request for assistance! Please come and save us. I'm near the doors...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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