Written by Philip Wright
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Topics: Santa, Rudolph

Sunday, 8 August 2010

image for Serious Santa - Rudolf Rift
"Fat, lazy and over-rated."

Christmas 2010 is in jeopardy after a serious falling out between Santa Claus and Rudolph was leaked to the press.

It is speculated by our source from within Lapland that Rudolph referred to his boss as, "Fat, lazy and over-rated."

Santa Claus' response was angry and swift, "Somebody needs to remind that lad that the beacon of light shines from his nostrils and not his blinking arse-pipe!"

He continued, "He's not leading my Sleigh this Christmas!"

The question of who will lead the Sleigh remains unanswered. Claus has stated in the past that neither Donna or Blitzen are not fit for the job as "They have three marriages and eight kids between them."

Until this latest rift in the Santa Camp in sorted, his Sleigh will remain firmly grounded.

Our source on the inside said that there is no cause for immediate alarm as there is still four long months to sort the problems out before the big day.

This is the latest problem in a string of recent controversies for Mr Claus. Earlier this year he was heavily criticised for dismissing an Elf with Downs Syndrome and later defending his decision by claiming to be "Bigger than Jesus."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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