Written by Morse
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Friday, 6 August 2010

image for Wisconsin Teachers blame 'lay offs' On Refusal to Prescribe Viagra In Benifits Package!
Female Wisconsin Teachers Claim Viagra is a 'Teaching Aid!"

A teachers union in Madison, WI, has blamed county officials for 'lay offs' as the officials have denied prescription drugs for erectile dysfunction as part of the free health care plan in the Union Contract costing almost $1m per year!

The education board, facing increasing deficits, said they would have to make almost 650 teachers redundant in order to pay for students' education in the coming fiscal year, but that by denying limp teachers on tenure their 'little blue pills' they could fund almost 25 new first year educators.

Phillip Johnston, married for 27 years, and a teacher for 29, was on the picket line yesterday in front of the city's board of education to protest the decision.

"After all these years of marriage and teaching, those little blue pills are the only things that get me up and going in the morning....without them I just don't know how I could get through the rest of the day!"

A part time Creative Writing teacher, identified only as "Charpa" said plaintively, " I take that little blue pill every morning then I stuff myself full of poems, essays, plays, stories, novels, films, comic strips, magazines, music, I just automatically explode every morning like Old Faithful...this is SO Unfair!"

Union officials say that now that the word is out, resistance to the new mandate is 'stiffening' and they expect more male teachers to take to the picket lines by the end of the week when they realize there'll be no more pills dispensed in time for the week end.

What's more puzzling to the Union is that many unmarried and divorced young school teachers have taken to the picket line as well.

Police officials have championed the decision saying it will cut down on
child abuse in the schools and are not surprised women are protesting.

Said new head of Sexual Crimes Deano West, "there's been a rash of sex incidents amongst female teachers lately....understandably a 14 year old boy might get a little nervous when he gets ready for intercourse with an experienced 34 year old married woman....we've tracked one case from the local pharmacy where a female 'guidance counselor' was refilling her 30 day prescription once a week."

According to West, the teacher was trapped in a sting when an undercover cop posing as a transfer student spent 2 days in a locked motel room
with the teacher before being rescued by the city's 'Twat Team' in a state
of 'extreme exhaustion" and looking like 'he'd been sucked dry!"

A teacher's Union spokesman, speaking for teachers around the country, said she was hopeful that relief was on the way as Nancy Pelosi had recalled congress for an extended session to pass a $26B aid package which would enable teachers to 'go back to work with dignity and with renewed vigor to better serve their students!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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