After a series of horrendous infanticide cases, President Nicolas Sarkozy's government is to start giving sex lessons to all France's adult males.
The lessons, which will be compulsory for all males aged between 20 and 80, are to be held in special 'Eros' centers. Paris's Eros Center is to be in the red-light and strip-club Pigalle district, better known as Pig Alley. The center will open on September 1.
A government spokesperson said that, as all the infanticides were committed by women who had hidden their pregnancies from their sex partners and who had, on birth, killed their newborns, while the fathers had not even noticed that the women they'd been sleeping with and having sex with were pregnant, the men will be taught how impregnation happens and what the physical changes are in a pregnant woman's body.
France's male population has welcomed the government's announcement with all-round delight. They believe that the lessons could have only one result: From now on sex in France will be out-of-this-world good.
Said Pierre, drinking a beer in a bistro in Pig Alley: "Oh la la! Vee vill be able to practice on zee teachers!"
Andre, a rugby player, who stood beside Pierre and who was drinking a glass of red wine said: "Eez good! Oh la la! In my sport ve say, 'go for zee gap'. If zee guy does not know how to go for zee gap, good that Monsieur Sarkozy vill show heem how to do so. Monsieur Sarkozy goes for zee gap himself all zee time."
The view of Cedric, a golfer, was: "If in my sport we know to hit zee hole zee very furzt time every time, so it iz very good that theez will also be so with zee act of zee sex. Oh la la!"
Even Gilles, who is a retired hairdresser and gay, was eagerly awaiting his first sex lesson. He said: "Oh la la! I've never made zee amour wieff a girl!" Gilles is 82 but he has been given permission to attend the lessons.
France's females have so far refused to comment.