In dramatic news emerging this morning, we can confirm that Madeleine McCann has been discovered alive and well.
Unbelievably, she was found hiding under the bed, in the very apartment that she went missing from over three years ago on 3rd May 2007.
Initial reports from the resort of Praia da Luz, seem to suggest that the disappearance was nothing more than a game of 'hide and seek' that went terribly wrong.
Lieutenant Colonel Juan, of the Policia Judiciaria confirmed that Madeleine initially hid under the bed as a joke, but then fell asleep. When she woke she was frightened by the commotion in the room and so she simply kept quiet until the room was empty again.
Goncala Amaral, who initially headed the Police investigation was unrepentant.' I suffer from sciatica', he said 'and so could not bend down to check under the bed myself, I thought that someone else was sure to have looked there!'
So, how did Madeleine survive for over 3 years? Apparently food and drink were no problem. She would normally eat food left in the apartment by guests and it has emerged that on other occassions she would order from room service. To amuse herself, she spent most of the time in the room watching TV, but would also use the on-site facilities and would play with other children staying at the resort.
Although the world will be stunned by these revelations, one person at least seems unsurprised. A waiter at the resort, Senhor Lucan said 'I'm not surprised, I've worked here since 1974, there are a lot of places to hide here.'