Written by P.M. Wortham
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Friday, 23 July 2010

image for Dr. Victor Nicholas Rated #1 Psychiatrist in Canada
Dr. Nicholas Adjusts His Tie Before Session

Though most famous for his barbed discourse in published medical news articles and editorial commentary, noted Psychiatrist Dr. Victor Nicholas has been named as the best practitioner in his field by patients and peers, as recorded by the consumer watchdog group, Angie's List.

Though Nicholas could not be reached for comment, clearly too busy in session, his patients were more than willing to offer their praise for his work. "Victor was the only one to reach deep inside me and discover my true potential", says former porn star, Barbie Bangles. "Oh, I couldn't agree more", added housewife and former Toronto Raptor cheerleader, Rachel Moistly. "Nobody can get me to relax and release quite like Doc".

Strangely enough, only one of the good doctor's ratings had come from a male patient., where Nicholas was handed his only poor, one star rating. "My friend told me about Doc and his special massage technique, but he just told me to massage myself", says Toronto Ballet lead, Eli Taloaffer.

Though his patients weren't willing to discuss the potentially questionable massage therapy Dr. Nicholas had offered, they clearly appeared to be healthy and happy members of Canadian society. "I don't even need to take anxiety medication anymore", says Quebec City Lawyer, Karen Quiverman. "One session with Doc per week and I'm stress free. Great hands, that man".

In a related story, the Canadian Medical Association has launched an investigation into Dr. Nicholas' techniques. The coincidently all-female investigatory panel vows to get to the bottom of Nicholas' techniques to validate if the practice is ethical, no matter how many personal interview sessions it takes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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