The British election frenzy hit new highs today as the US government has indicted three British political leaders allegedly linked to al-Qa'ida and also to some banana republics as officials here say what was a serious and well-advanced plot to attack financial institutions in the US and undermine the US economy.
The three, all from the Houses of Parliament, London, were due to be arrested in Britain in August 2004 on other charges but all were on holiday at the time spending counterfeit US dollars. It was after their massive holiday spending spree that they met their instant arrest on their return loaded with purchases but no receipts. In London, the Crown Prosecution Service said trials were to begin this coming May following the discovery of 18 trillion billion million counterfeit dollars in the cellars of the Houses of Parliament, and this process must be completed prior to any extradition or interrogation by American agents in the US.
US officials say that Mr Toni Poddle Barot Blair, 52, is a very senior al-Qa'ida Labour Party operative who used several aliases and identities in order to avoid recognition and detention over a number of years. One of these included pretending to be a British Prime Minister and successfully ordering the UK military to bomb tens of thousands of innocent civilians in Iraq.
Whilst Michael Tediousi Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Howard, 88, one of the Conservative Party organizers of the 2001 terror attacks, who was arrested in Pakistan in 2003 after boring thousands to death with an incredibly tedious speech at an election rally is considered also very dangerous as any interviewer risks a similar fate.
Mr Charles Alcoholi Tarmohammed Kennedy, 56, faces British charges of having plans of the Prudential building and is said to have carried with him an extract from a terrorist handbook, detailing the preparation of chemicals and other information necessary to prepare fermented drinks and design distillation equipment necessary for the production of spirits. Apparently, his stale breath is enough to bring hundreds into a toxic coma in seconds.
However, the Bush administrations' greatest concern surrounds the production and use of counterfeit dollars being used to support the 3 UK political leaders' election campaigns. President Bush stated today at an emergency press conference "The use of counterfeit dollars is expressly reserved for my own election campaign, we will use the full force of the US Military to recover these printed bills and recycle them for our own use."
At Wall Street, Alan Greenspan was unconcerned and commented "18 trillion billion million counterfeit dollars will not touch the US economy as we have already flooded China with 9852 quillion billion million counterfeit dollars purchasing Barby dolls and other poor quality toys."
Back in London, QC, Cherie Blair stated "The Crown Prosecution Service will ensure a fair trial in May by undertaking a trial without Jury." This new regulation will ensure very complicated trials involving fraud will not be undermined by members of the public giving inappropriate guilty verdicts. She added "My personnel supervision of the trial will ensure inappropriate political candidates will be retained for decades in a top secret prison ensuring a fair election of terror."
However, when the spoof reporter interviewed a man from the street, Joe Public replied "All political party terrorists should be held without trial, the World would be a better place without them and we want to have a Queen Camilla Banana Republic in the UK anyway."