Written by Lady Godiva
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Monday, 19 July 2010

image for The Plastiki gets towed to safety on maiden voyage.
Do not try this at home...building a boat out of plastic bottles...then sailing it on open waters.....

"The Plastiki boat, which was fashioned out of 12,500 plastic water bottles, has been forced to call for a tow to shore during the last stage of its 7,500 nautical mile journey from San Francisco to Sydney."

The problem started when one of the crew members noticed that some of the bottle tops were falling off and they were taking on water.

The small engine had also, on inspection, overheated, melting some of the surrounding bottles, which dripped into the engine causing it to stall.

To make matters worse, the captain's map blew away in a northerly wind. On top of this, he had left the crew's only compass too close to a magnet, thereby rendering it useless.

The radio, thankfully was still working and so a May Day call was sent out. The signal reached a small island which was inahbited by a tribe of Zoolacalumbas, a tribe which was discovered last year by Dr. Feelenstow of New Zealand, when he was researching almost extinct animal species.

Unfortunately, the Zoolacalumbas don't speak very much English and didn't know quite what to do with the radio, left behind by Dr.Feelenstow.

The captain began shouting into the radio, as if that would make any difference. Two members of his crew started to pray, which only angered the Captain as he was a non-believer.

Luckily a small plane passed overhead and saw the crew waving excitedly. It tipped it's wings in acknowledgement and headed back to shore to tell of the crew's plight.

At first, no-one was willing to go and tow the boat to safety saying such things as,

"Morons, sailing on bloody plastic bottles. They were just asking for trouble,"

"Why should WE risk our lives for idiots like that,"

Then came the voice of reason,

"Come on lads. We have to do our duty. If we DON'T tow them in, think of all those plastic bottles polluting our waters. Bugger the crew, think about marine life. Come on...get your gear."

And so it was that the crew and the Plastiki were towed to safety.

The crew were immediately taken away for psychiatric evaluation.

The Plastiki was sent for 'safe recycling'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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