Written by ScottyG
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Topics: Pope, Catholic

Tuesday, 12 April 2005

image for Popemobile to get Pimped
Holy Roller to get a makeover

In a way to honor the recently passed Pope John Paul II, while also bringing excitement to the new Papacy, MTV has announced this week that one of their signature shows will have a Catholic flair in an upcoming special. Plans are in the works for an hour long episode entitled "Pope My Ride," hosted by car pimper-upper Xzibit. The whole West Coast Customs crew has agreed to move shop to Vatican City next week where they will have the chance to work on the Pope's classic Popemobile.

"This ride will be tricked out!" said an enthusiastic Lil' Mike of the West Coast team. "The Pope looked lonely in his bullet-proof bubble, so we're gonna turn it into a phat entertainment center back there. Bumpin' sound system, drop down DVD sets & a PS2 system, the works," he added.

The team's Exterior wizard, Rafa, was excited at the chance to get his hands dirty on the Pontiff's car. "We're gonna go with a hot yellow tint on the windows, get some tall rims, racing stripe on the side, it'll be off the hook."

"The new Popemobile will be a chick magnet, he'll have to fend them off with a stick," added crewmember Big G.

Although grateful at MTV's gesture, the Vatican was wary of doing business with the network. Over the previous week when other networks ran countless hours of tributes to the Pope, MTV continued to air its regular programming, which included many shows of questionable morals. For example, the network's look at Las Vegas called "Sin & Skin: Strip Poker on the Strip" brought the ire of the Church. The reactions soured even further when Vatican City representatives caught some of the network's spring break programming. One such episode entitled "Boyfriend or Brother" featured scantily clad young women who were blindfolded and had their hands tied behind them. With no verbal cues allowed, the women had to figure out if the man placed in front of them was their boyfriend or biological brother. Needless to say, many inappropriate actions were viewed in the eyes of the Church. MTV executives have promised the Vatican that the entire crew will be on perfect behavior, and that they are looking forward to ushering in the new Pope in style.

Upon hearing the ideas for improving the classic set of wheels, Papal candidates had varying reactions. Francis Arinze of Nigeria was one who was less than impressed, saying "The Popemobile is a sacred feature of the position. It should not be tampered with as it is in fine condition at the moment." After hearing this, a disbelieving Angelo Scola of Italy rebuffed the previous comment by shouting back at Arinze, "Are you kidding me? This ride is gonna be hotter than hell."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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