Written by Morse
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Monday, 19 July 2010

image for Palin Reconsiders Stance on Late Term Abortions after Bristol Announces Wedding Plans & Reality Show with Levi!
Bristol Palin Rehearsing for New Jon Gosselin Reality Show "dumber than dirt"

The surprise announcement that Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are back together and planning marriage AND a Realty Show, portends a bigger train wreck than experienced in Andhra Pradesh, India last week which killed scores of passengers.

Levi, who insiders say 'came up way short' in his frontal nudity spread in Playgirl, failed in his escort service when Craigs List refused to run his illiterate ads, and was laughed out of porn studio during a 'reading', is said to have turned over his career to Jon Gosselin in an effort to 'make a success of himself.'

The announcement of the wedding has left the Palin & Johnston family dazed and confused, with Levi's mother, Sherry 43, arrested in 2008 for drug crimes, afraid that "I'll never see my grandson again!"

According to sources, the Palins are in shock and Sarah is said to have her convictions against late term abortions severely shaken after considering
long term results and what the future holds for her family.

Levi's tattooed sister, Mercedes, is said to be livid, but may have been appeased when Levi promised her she and 'mom' would be included in the new reality show Jon's been pitching to the networks detailing life in a trailer park somewhere in Arkansas.

Johnston, who was 18 when he impregnated the then 17 year old Bristol had run out of options and had been burdened with $1700 a month child support payments. Barely educated, not very personable, and basically inarticulate, he appeared the perfect project for Reality Whore Jon Gosselin, who said he was tired of acting and wanted to get into 'managing & producing...that's where the real money is."

According to camp insiders Levi now considers Jon his surrogate father, best friend, intellectual mentor, and his last best chance to cash in on the Palin meal ticket despite having trashed the family after he broke off with Bristol after the 2008 election.

According to Levi, Bristol promised that her folks would 'come around', throw a big wedding, buy them a 'big ole double wide' provide Levi with a paying PR job, and maybe even a Czar position should her mother move on in her political career to higher office.

A spokesman for the former Alaskan governor said 'not so fast!'
According to Sheila Lightfoot, Palin's press secretary, Sarah is pushing for a simple wedding by a justice of the peace, or suggesting that the pair elope in order to forestall the media frenzy over a lavish public wedding the kids want so they can sell the pictures to People Magazine.

Said Lightfoot, " the Governor feels sad for Bristol, and would have done more for her if she hadn't been adopted, but feels she's an adult now and will have to be responsible for her own decisions."

Kate Gosselin said she has been approached to play Bristol's nanny on the Reality Show tentatively titled "Dumber Than Dirt " filmed entirely in Piggott, Ak, population 3894.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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