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Topics: Money, Hitler

Monday, 11 April 2005

image for Hitler's Sensitive Side Revealed
Hitler With Cute Little Girl

New evidence has revealed things about Adolf Hitler that we never new before. Long have we known that Hitler was a vegetarian as he couldn't bear to eat a living creature, but did you know that every week Hitler would give half the money he got from the mass murder of innocent people to little orphans living in a slum because a gas station was built where there orphanage was. This kind of selflessness earned Hitler a place in history as a kind and generous man.

Hitler was also known to pick flowers to make lovely bouquets for pretty girls he might see around town. "Sometimes he would take a ribbon from the hair of someone he had had murdered and tie the flowers and make them look all pretty and all." Said some German dude somewhere at some point.

So Hitler loved children flowers and pretty ladies but what about his fellow man? Well when Hitler found out that his Russian friends had to tolerate very cold winters he personally arranged for large fires to be made in all the largest Russian cities so that they could all keep warm. "Of course sometimes the fires get out of control but it's the thought that counts" said a very warm Russian in 1941

Hitler helped the masses but he was also there for the individual. One story that is remembered is the story of little Jimmy Race. Jimmy Race was born with blond hair and blue eyes. He was also taller than the other boys and everyone made fun of him. He explained to Hitler that he would love to have some playmates that looked just like him that wouldn't ridicule him or beat him up. Hitler vowed to help and decided to make lots of blond haired tall blue eyes playmates for little Jimmy Race. He decided to name them all after the boy they were made for and called them Master Race.

Happy, compassionate, kind and thoughtful are just some of the words used to describe Hitler. This reporter's opinion? Well these heart-warming stories are almost enough to make you forget the mass genocide of millions of innocent people.

Sweet Dreams

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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