Naples, Fl-- Now that the oil gusher has stopped, the US federal government has big plans to clean up the Gulf of Mexico. Government agencies have ambitious plans to seal off the Gulf of Mexico and repair its cracked floor with cement. Once the cracks are fixed, the government will fill the Gulf back up with fresh, salty water.
Homeland Insecurity will head the project, along with 23 other agencies. The feds first plan to build a giant dike between the Yucatan Peninsula and the southern tip of Florida. Next, the Mississippi River will be blocked at its mouth. Then, giant hoses will be used to siphon all the oily water from the Gulf. After it dries, a ten-foot layer of concrete will be put on the floor to stop any more leaks.
The government does expect some inconveniences with its project. Sea levels around the world will rise by 20 feet once the oily water is drained out of the Gulf of Mexico. The government isn't sure where to get the clean sea water, so they are buying lots of bottled spring water and table salt. The final cost of the project isn't known, but it should be about $200 quadrillion.
President Obama is credited with dreaming up the plan.
"This is just one of the many ways I want to help America. It's all my idea! I don't like to brag--but I am such a genius!" smirked the world leader.