At 3:25 p.m. Eastern time Thursday, approximately 2 million gallons of crude oil per day stopped gushing into the Gulf of Mexico.
A robotic submersible owned by Blackwater Petrol slowly choked off the company's problematic well until the infamous black geyser of death finally ceased belching its toxic plume of hydrocarbons and methane gas.
The technological breakthrough came a mere 87 days into a crisis that began when an offshore rig in the Gulf of Mexico sprung a nasty leak.
Blackwater Petrol said they could reopen the gusher at any moment.
Whether they do or not will be largely determined by accountants, because what Blackwater Petrol should be doing right now is dumping approximately 2 million gallons of concrete per day on top of the damned thing while they still have a chance.
But what the hell do I know?