Written by Swinger
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Topics: Pope, Hollywood

Friday, 8 April 2005

image for Pope's Burial Delayed For Rocky VI
Rocky VI

Bakers, CA - An insider recently caught up with one of Hollywood's biggest action superstar and the co-founder of Planet Hollywood, Sylvester Stallone regarding the status of Rocky VI. As much as we were appalled, we were excited at the same time from the tidbits we got directly from the man.

Sylvester Stallone has revealed that the latest Rocky flick would have Rocky at one corner of the ring and the other end, wearing white trunks with flabby skin, is none other than the late Pontiff John Paul II. Sly revealed that The Pope before he died, was and is still contracted to be Rocky's next in-the-ring nemesis.

"Last year around December, His Holliness and I had some chat and we had some talk about Rocky.

He was such a wild Rocky fan and he was really enthusiastic about Rocky VI so we chatted for a while about the storyline, the script, and who should Rocky face and the Pope brilliantly as shockingly ever said he would gladly play the role as Rocky's opponent.

And right there, I just starred at him; speechless. You know this is a great one-time opportunity to revive the franchise by having Rocky fighting an old-man. This is gonna be something different, something unique. So I gave him the contract, he took out his ballpoint pen and signed without any hesitation.

Sadly last week, the Pope unfortunately met his demise, however his death would not have any effect on the next Rocky and we will have him in the movie. We have slated Rocky VI for a spring 2006 wide release so in order to hasten things up, we had a talk to the Vatican authorities to use the pontiff's preserved body and they have delayed the burial of the pope till March next year for that matter.

This is the time where we can use his body toward our advantage. His embalmed body would be a great punching bag for Rocky. We can use strings to move his arms and legs during the fight. And I do not have to carefully choreograph the fight. I can just deliberately deliver hard punches, give him some jabs side to side, the left hook right to the temple, the right hook right into his gut and the uppercut right into his jaw. I can perform a real boxing fight with him. No strings attached.

We have informed the Vaticans that we would return the body of the pope for the proper burial as early as December this year but we do not guarantee that the pope will be back in one piece. We are guessing at this point of time that ......with the beating he is about to receive especially from a muscle bound grotesque like Rocky, he might be back.... in pieces.

So by the end of this month, we will start shooting and hopefully Rocky VI will be ready by Spring 2006."

To all Rocky Fans, in 2006, The Italian Stallion Will Face The Octogenarian.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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