The mystery surrounding Octopus Paul's future career prospects was resolved last night when he was overheard talking to Lady Aga, one of the famous pop star's cooks. Gaga has purchased Paul and he will feature as a hat in her next concert in Sea World Florida.
Following an unusual negotiation, no money will change tentacles. In return for Paul being plonked on Gaga's bonce, she in return has allowed her face without make-up to feature on the promos for Paul's latest film The Codfather. This was not without its issues as Gaga has always argued that she resembles salmon and was not pleased at the thought of being associated with a more common fish.
Supporting the concert will be actor Gordon Kaye of Ello Ello and Spanish football team coach fame. It is timed to coincide with Octopus Paul's famous wartime speech 'We will fight them on the beaches but not Margate which pongs a bit'.