Written by IainB
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Topics: Death, Belgium

Friday, 9 July 2010

image for Belgians "Will they Blend"?
Do Belgians Blend? Yes they do!

YouTube viral advert creator, Tom Dickenson, has been contacted by the Belgian government to help with their dead. Due to a lack of space for cremation or burial within their borders, the Belgians wondered "Will they blend"?

Dickenson is famous for seeing if a variety of household objects from Wii Remotes to sofa cushions will blend in a BlendTek blender. So far, the only thing he has failed to blend is a Buckstars smoothie, so he was the first person that the Belgian government contacted when they realised they had no more space for dead people.

Dickenson, always happy to try and blend something new, has jumped at the chance, and is producing a new set of YouTube adverts entitled, "Skinny Belgians, will they blend?", "Fat Belgians, will they blend?" and "Belgians with breast implants, will they blend?".

The answer to all of these is: Yes!

Uptake for the new corpse disposal service has been slow, but it is steadily gathering pace, leading to a new problem: What to do with five hundred blended Belgians.

To counter the Blended Belgian lake that is forming, Heston Blumenthal has been approached to see if he has a novel method of using the Blended Belgians. His original suggestion of using them to make Real Belgians Chocolate was discounted as being too gross, so instead they are going for adding a little salt to the mixture and using them for de-icing the roads in winter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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