Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 9 July 2010

image for Controller Of Sexy Spy Anna Chapman's Vagina Subject To CIA Manhunt
A Woman Drinking Beer From A Bottle - Not Administering A Blow Job

Washington DC - Friday - The Central Intelligence (?) Agency today announced the launch of an international manhunt, with the objective of arresting the controller of sexy Russian ginger spy Anna Chapman's vagina.

It is thought that since Ms Chapman's arrest, certain unscrupulous individuals have been cashing in on her vagina, and alleging that she is not a genuine redhead.

Making millions in the process.

It is believed that the prime suspect in the case, a failed Bolivian revolutionary, currently residing in West London, and known only as Colonel Juan, has profited to the tune of millions from Ms Chapman's moist vagina.

Colonel Juan - or CJ as his mate calls him - is an elusive figure, thought to be the father of an HIV infected mother of twins, and night shift security guard. Although little else is known about him. Other than that he controls sexy Russian spy Anna Chapman's moistly simmering vagina with an iron hand.

Amongst other things.

CIA spokesman, Hannibal Lecture told Skoob News that Juan is going down. He also stated:

"This individual has profited massively from Ms Chapman's allegedly ginger vagina. We've heard that he's been raking it in. There's been a court order from New York which prohibits anybody from making money out of this moist - some might even say, sopping wet, really gagging for it - vagina. But we'll get him. We'll turn Chiswick inside out if necessary, a bit like a well serviced vagina - but we'll bring him to justice. We will not tolerate Bolivian Generalissimos taking advantage of frothy ginger vaginas. It just isn't right."

Our man in Ealing, who knows a friend of a friend of Colonel Juan's managed to get a mobile phone number for the colonel, and when he rang, Colonel Juan told him:

"My dear boy - do you have the slightest inkling what fucking time it is? No - I didn't think you did. You just woke me up. You cunt. You fucking cunt. You fucking fucking cunting cunt cunt shit cunt wanker. You fucking CUNT. Now fuck off you cunt. I've never earned a fucking penny off a fucking cunt. Much less a fucking ginger cunting cunt. Now fuck off. Cunt."

CIA black ops expert John Rambu told us:

"I think we better forget this. Jesus, that guy's got some mouth on him when he's cornered."

The Colonel's HIV infected mother of twin daughters told us:

"You shouldn't have woke him up. He dreams about the late Peter Cook, so as you can imagine, when disturbed, his language can be a bit fuckin' fruity. Innit."

Sexy spy, Anna Chapman's vagina itself played no part in this article. And we're not even sure that it's ginger.

Much less dripping like a tap.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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