Written by queen mudder
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Topics: astrology, eclipse

Thursday, 8 July 2010

image for Occult ramifications of Asteroid Roma eclipse
And it's bye. bye, Ms American Spy!

London - (Snake-in-the-Grass News): Hellfire Club grandees are hotfooting it to the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain tonight.

Thursday's 21.57BST eclipse of the brightest star in the Ophihchus constellation 'could be really bad shit,' however, for the karmic skinny-dipping mob.

The royal water feature lies close to the iconic Serpentine lake that straddles Hype Park's lush acres like an oil spill in some far flung Gulf.

And tonight Roma, a rogue asteroid from beyond the Magellanic Clouds of irregular (duh!) dwarf galaxies, will briefly snuff out the radience of the Delta Ophiuchi.

This magnificent Snake Charmer constellation asterism traditionally represents the hand that holds the snake-haired Medusa monster - also known on Earth as Queen Elizabeth II.

The last time that Roma - named by The Ancients after the Vatican - crossed this line was in June 1982 when 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi was found hanging under Blackfriars bridge in London.

And Vatican Bank CEO Cardinal Marcinkus fled to the USA where Vice President George Herbert Bush gave him safe refuge in the nuclear reactor plant under the Pentagon. building.

"The occult ramifications of tonight's eclipse are bleedin' obvious, hic," Royal Astronomical Debt Society Emeritius Professor of Cosmology Dr Einstein Flintstone said today.

"That Moat wackjob's hiding somewhere in the Fountain, ready to take out Old Fatty Mountbatten with his AK47."

Chelsy Davey is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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