Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 7 July 2010

image for Twilight stars beware! Gypsy asteroid Roma to eclipse snake-in-the-grass constellation's Hand of the Snake Charmer
The asteroid Roma looks a bit like a sawn-off cosmic thumb

Space - (Rattlesnake News): Terrible karmic portents for Twilight/Eclipse stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart!

A rare occultation by the asteroid Roma on the night of 8th July will completely obliterate sight of Del­ta Ophi­uchi, fourth-brightest star in the con­stella­t­ion Ophi­uchus.

The 50km-wide rock's five second transit will momentarily make the Hand of the Snake Charmer star vanish around 21.57BST.

The eclipse trajectory will be visible across a narrow band stretching from central Europe, Spain and the Canary Islands.

And, according to ancient stellar lore, this could adversely affect hundreds of $$$ millions of Twilight series box orifice takings in this part of the world.

As if this wasn't bad enough on Sunday 11th July there will be a solar eclipse at 19 degrees Cancer - a cosmic spot notorious for the Icarus Effect that plagues so many precocious movie actors.

The last time this zodiac black spot experienced such an occultation the toxic ripple-down effect caused havoc for child actors Macaulay Culkin, Drew Barrymore, Zac Efron, Omri Katz, Shia LaBeouf, Taylor Lautner, etc.

Studio bosses are now seriously reconsidering their Twlight: Eclipse of the Boa Constrictor casting options.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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