Written by Lady Godiva
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 4 July 2010

image for Imprisoned British Army Officer, Bill Shaw, is cleared of bribing Afghan
Knitted 'afghan' for computer lovers. Paton's pattern #187694

A British Army Officer, Bill Shaw, who had been sentenced to two years in prison for bribing an Afghan, has today been acquitted of all charges.

Our American and Canadian readers will probably understand why a prisoner would WANT to bribe an Afghan in the first place. It's most likely because he was looking for a 'cover' in an attempt to escape from prison in Afghanistan.

(At this point, in my first edition of this article, I erroneously omitted to point out that an 'Afghan' to Americans and Canadians, at least those familiar with crafts etc., is 'a knitted or crocheted blanket')

The officer's attorney said she hoped her client would be released from Pul-l-Charkhl prison, on the outskirts of Kabul, within a week of Sunday's ruling.

The prisoner's family are said to be most grateful to 'Sunday' for his ruling and are looking forward to being reunited with their loved one.

Afghan's are well known in the USA and Canada, for providing cover and warmth to people in need. They can be very quickly 'knitted' using a 4 row pattern, size 6mm needles and 'fairly' chunky wool (yarn) and are the reason why, almost a decade ago, knitting needles and yarn were banned on board all airlines worldwide.

This was for fear that little old ladies, or younger ladies disguised as little old ladies, or men in 'drag', on board airplanes flying all over the world, would knit Afghans whilst in the air.

The British Army Officer said that he had been fleeced by an Afghan but did say that he refused to criticise the Afghan courts, saying: "I have the greatest respect for the Afghan justice system."

He left the press conference waving a pair of 6mm knitting needles in the air, plus a ball of Paton's 'purple mix' chunky knit wool (yarn).

Make Lady Godiva's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 4?

1 8 23 24
72 readers are online right now!

Go to top