The Church of the Second Coming of the Resurrection of Jesus has claimed that a recent scientific paper proves that abortion causes breast cancer.
A spokesman for the church said, "We usually don't agree with these so-called scientists, but it appears that for once they have done some useful research. A study by the university of Oxbridge has shown that women who breast-feed have a lower risk of breast cancer."
"Therefore women who have abortions, who are less likely to breast-feed, are more likely to get breast cancer."
The Church has also claimed that homosexuality causes infertility after a study showed gay men were less likely to reproduce.