Written by goldie 206
Print this
Topics: Health

Thursday, 1 July 2010

image for Health watch advice!
For your health sake don't use paper you destroy good germs.

Research done by the Manufacturers of the household disinfectant De-tox the very famous Lever Brothers, has discovered that there are a hundred times more bacteria on your kitchen worktop than there are on a toilet seat!

The advice by the company is "never prepare food on the kitchen worktop" as it can lead to food poisoning giving you the shits and possibly spewing your guts all over the place.

The advice for safe food preparation is to cook and make sandwiches on the top of the shithouse seat. By actually spreading butter and meat fillings on bread just after someone has had a clearout you can protect yourself from dangerous bacteria.

If the toilet has not been cleaned for several weeks that will protect you even more. The new recommendations state that if you really want to clean your shithouse "AND" stay healthy-wipe the bowl with a large slice of wholewheat and make a salad sandwich not forgetting the cucumber.

Lever Brothers are always at the cutting edge of hygiene and will keep you updated on the latest techniques such as: never wash your hands after having a crap because you will destroy "good" bacteria that can protect you from the dangerous stuff in your kitchen.

Make goldie 206's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 5?

2 22 25 21
110 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more